Anger management

 

Do you get lit up if someone cuts you up on the road? Or if someone’s offhand to you on the phone? Or your child just won’t do what they’re told? Anger is a normal – and sometimes even useful – emotion, but it can get out of control, damaging both your health and work or family relationships.

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There are different ways of starting to look at the problem. Identifying the underlying causes can be one way to begin to take control, where psychodynamic therapy might be useful. Perhaps you grew up in a high stress environment, so anger got normalised, or you’ve always felt you never get heard, or there are other complex reasons why you find it difficult to tolerate frustration, perhaps linked to hidden self-esteem issues.

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Other people may prefer more in-the-moment strategies, identifying triggering situations, and trying to nip anger in the bud as it happens. Perhaps thinking errors can be identified such as All or Nothing Thinking, Low Frustration Tolerance or Demands on Self or Others that might be contributing to the problem. CBT might be particularly useful in identifying these.

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Mindfulness, relaxation skills, deep-breathing exercises can also help, along with using key words, or visualisation strategies. Importantly, tackling anger isn’t about denying or bottling up feelings, which may well be legitimate, but finding more constructive ways of acting, and expressing what you’re feeling, so as to find new and better ways forward with those around you.

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Whichever therapeutic approach you choose, the key is not just the method, but the strength of the relationship you build with the therapist.

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Here are some interesting TedX Talks on different ways to think about anger:

Anger Is Your Ally: A Mindful Approach to Anger

Opting out of Anger

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Further info on tackling self-esteem and low confidence issues can be found here:

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Mayo Clinic

NHS

Mind

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